Loss

When we experience a loss, it may have an impact on our sense of wellbeing. From the moment we are born we are making connections with our parents or care givers. As we grow in independence so does our ability to reach out and make new connections, in various environments outside of the home.  This might be with teachers, friends at work or people from the community that we live in.  These connections can either strengthen and become long lasting, or last for a fixed period.

Whenever we lose a connection, we sense the loss and may feel sad or disappointed about the loss.  We can understand that it is part of life and are able to move on after a time and return our attention back to our daily life.  The death of somebody close to you is different.  Any loss through death is recognised as being a high stressor. A stressor is an event that invokes a stress response.  During this time, most people enter a period of grief.  This happens regardless of the type of relationship that was had with the deceased person and irrespective of whether the death was expected or not. At this time people may sense a feeling of intense sadness at the loss. It is almost like being in a parallel world that may feel very surreal at times.   Intense sadness is not dissimilar to a mild depression. 

During times of grief, it is important that you to focus on staying well. It is important to eat properly.  If you can, try to increase the level of carbohydrates, and protein that you eat.  It may help you to increase the serotonin levels in your body.  In turn this can help in calming your mood.  Eating vegetables will help your iron levels.  You may not want to eat much when you are grieving.   Keep your meals simple and where possible keep your food fresh.  This will help to give much needed strength to your immune system. Alcohol can have the effect of suppressing your appetite.  Try not to use it as a substitute for food. If you can, be available to relax, to sleep and take a little exercise.  This will help you to lower your stress levels.  It will help to give you a different focus for a while.

 It may help you adapt to the loss and move into your new reality. Cry, be angry and, do not feel ashamed for doing so. Your body is adapting to a change you did not ask for. We will never forget the people that we have lost.  A part of the healing process is the ability   to remember the person as being part of our lives with both the positive and the negative aspects.  Our connections can help to shape our lives for good or for bad.

If you need to, get help from your GP or an organisation that is specialise in grief counselling.